What came into my head...

I mentioned a couple of posts ago that I have had trouble finishing my first WIP because I keep having ideas about another project. Every now and then something will just come into my head that I feel is coming from another place, it has a different vibe than the last WIP, do you know what I mean?

That happened this morning, something I heard yesterday stuck in my head and I woke up with this crazy desire to get it out on paper, so many words, so many thoughts in my head, I just had to get it down.

And here is what happened...

Some things are better left unsaid. Or so they say. I'm undecided. If today was my last day, would I know that I have told everyone that I care about how I feel? Would I have told those who make me smile that their smile brings sunshine to my soul, that I feel safe in their embrace and knowing them makes me a better person. That they are kind and beautiful, that I am blessed to have them in my life, that I care for them deeply and probably always will. 

Do I need to say this? Don't they know already? Is it better, me telling them... or worse?

Even if I don't though, tell them I mean, I will still feel the same. That won't change.

Either way, nothing will change. It can't.

What have I left unsaid? After all that, what else can I say? That I would hate to not have them in my life,  that the idea of it - of not seeing them - everyday makes me feel sick. Do they need to know? Now I need to tell them that I wish things were different.

If even I don't tell them, even I don't say it, I have to live with it.

Sad but true. Something else people say. Do they mention it's also painful? Usually when you say  sad, pain is running somewhere just beneath the surface. Hovering ready to strike and render you useless. Have you ever felt that pain seeping sneakily out of your heart? It creeps into your muscles and makes you tired - your shoulders sag and your legs feel the pull to curl up under you.

It creeps into your face, makes your eyes watery, creases your brow and your lips curl downwards. Those eyes that water, they become filled in their core with an ache that everyone can see, whether you want them to or not. This is what can happen when things go left unsaid.

Maybe something that I say to them, might hurt them, even by accident, like it hurt when he told me it's for the best. It didn't want to hear it. I know it's true, but it still hurts. Perhaps in the end, some things are better left unsaid.